Lets be real. So I currently feel like I am having a hot flash and my son is screaming “Mommy, mommy look at my egg launcher!” As Top Wing dialogue echoes in the background, I am trying to slip off to the wayside to write. My emotions are overflowing today, and I need somewhere to put some of them. Let me escape into my crazy, overthinking brain for a minute and just be…
Let’s just keep it real. I am so overwhelmed. Isn’t it crazy how you have days where you feel like you are on top of life, the queen of the castle. The house is clean, the kids have a fresh haircut and are bathed and fed, the kitchen is crumb free and the dishes are clean and put away, the clothes are folded. On days as such, as I venture to take a seat on my throne with my hot frothed coffee in hand, I happily shimmy over to the counter to ignite my “Sun Kissed” scented candle from target, as the cherry on top to my “put together day”. Go me. So nice.
I bet you have already guessed how my day has been. Maybe you can relate. Jacob looks like he is wearing a dirty wig. James has been sitting in his high chair facing the tv for at least 45 minutes because I just cannot deal and had to write. I literally have three baskets of clean wrinkled up clothes sitting directly in front of me chanting “FOLD ME!” every time I look up or pass by them. Jacob is still talking about his egg launcher, he is super proud of it and I have had to take at least one deep breath per paragraph I have written so far just to write. My kitchen is sticky in random places and there are crumbs all over the counter from when Jacob dumped out a pack of crackers to eat them like a dog a little bit ago. Wow, and here I am on my laptop in a dark corner trying to vent and I can not even focus. O yay Blaze just came on, maybe that will suck them in until I finish venting.
O the joys of being a stay at home mom. Don’t you love when people ask you what you do all day. My husband is in nursing school full time and is a sheriff’s deputy full time, so I feel like a single mom more than half of my week. Single mamas, I do not know how you manage. You are a warrior and a fairy. Just strong and magical. I feel you mama. The days that there is literally so much to do, that you cannot really do anything. I know that does not make sense, but it is true. I can not finish one task before another plaguing my mind. I can not focus. Maybe I should get into making lists. Yeah, I think I will try that. Do any of you make lists, and if you do, do you actually use them?
I love the way it feels to accomplish things. It is so rewarding. It is so refreshing to me, but only for a moment. Then it is back to work to accomplish them over and over again. I think there is something to be seen in the way that works. That the hard stuff lasts a lot longer than the victory, but O doesn’t the victory feel so good when you smell that coconut candle as you sip your coffee in your clean kingdom. I think I am going to take Nike’s advice and JUST DO IT. Well I do have the Bachelorette recorded… JUST DO IT TOMORROW! Yes, that is the plan, be a mama on a mission in the AM. I may even start off the day with fruit smoothies for me and the babies, and then take a ride on my exercise bike! Aim HIGH Jessica.
I want to encourage you that when you feel like crap and your house smells like it as well, that you remember that you are not alone. There is some other mama throwing cheese itz at their kids to keep them from climbing on her. There is some other mama wondering why she cant find one clean pair of underwear for her son in the Mt. Everest laundry pile. There is some other mama continually in prayer with God to keep her family safe and healthy and to please her God in all she does. There is some other mama braless and barefoot snuggling with her babies on the couch. That mama is me. I see you. I feel you. Today is one of those #momfail days, but I can assure you that tomorrow will be a #momwin day! Give yourself grace mama. It is yours to take from our sweet Lord. Grace! Tomorrows a new day and you are equipped with all that you need to thrive, even though the word thrive is not even a part of your vocabulary tonight. You got this!